(sung to “The Battle Hymn of the Republic”)
Mine eyes have seen the genius of the writing from the Dooce
I have stood up and applauded the first steps of her papoose
I was happy for them all when from the job Jon did break loose
Her blog keeps marching on…
Dooce, the goddess of good humor!
Dooce, the Avon non-consumer!
Dooce, so not a baby-boomer!
Her blog keeps marching on!
I long to turn back time to when her comments were turned on
I think of all the blog hits a good comment there might spawn
And I’d stay up all night reading ’til the coming of the dawn
Her blog keeps marching on…
Dooce, no fan of global warmin’!
Dooce, you’ll not catch her conformin’!
Dooce, can quote the Book of Mormon!
Her blog keeps marching on!
Could there ever be a day where she would take me under wing
Advise me and instruct me about every blogging thing
Like how to blog at work until H-R makes a big scene
Her blog keeps marching on…
Chuck, he’s running for the senate!
Dooce, she’ll surely help him win it!
Jon, he’ll know just how to spin it!
As Leta keeps marching on!
I want to ride a plane with her and go to Amsterdam
And with Alice and Melissa we’d all stand there hand in hand
We’d imbibe some wacky mushrooms and the trip would be just grand
Her blog keeps marching on…
Dooce, so far away in Utah!
Dooce, as hip and cool as foie gras!
Dooce, of whom I’m in complete awe!
Her blog keeps marching on!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Heather or her bodyguards or private investigators,
I swear I’m no creepy internet stalker. I just happen to like making things rhyme. I’ve never even BEEN to Utah. I’ve flown over it though and it looks rather arid so maybe I’ll just stay here in the Midwest with our acres and acres of corn fields and our meth labs and puppy mills.
This whole little tribute thing was born from the thought that, damn, I wish your (her) comments were turned on because, like Mayella from To Kill a Mockingbird, I got somethin’ to say.
Anyway, doubtful you’ll ever lay eyes on my silly little tribute, but in case you did, well, I didn’t want to have the FBI show up at my door babbling on about me stalking some internet blobber and looking slightly confused about what the hell a blobber is. Know what I mean?
Best Regards,
JustLinda
ps: Sorry about that foie gras line…. it’s baaaad, but maybe better than cole slaw???
[…] not sucking up, I swear. I tried that once before with Dooce and it got me absolutely nowhere. I was sure I’d be rich and famous, but no. So I have no […]
[…] I really think I’d come out a winner if that happened. After all, I did write a Tribute to Dooce at one point and it got me nuttin’. Not even an atta-girl. Usually, I get more traction […]
LOVE THIS!! Absolutely brilliant 🙂
I feel like such a copy cat, but I swear I didn’t! I wrote my own dang tribute (ode from a stalker) to Heather B. Armstrong yesterday and I SWEAR I hadn’t read yours. So just know that.
Plus, I might start tributing (stalking) you soon because you are the shit.
I’ll be singing your lil jig all night now. I’m more of a lurker on Dooce’s site.
I’m only a state away in KS and I was unaware that MO was full of Meth Labs and puppy mills too! LOL There’s already been about 7 busted in our town so far this year.
hehe…
🙂 Very nicely done!
I am most pleased to report that Heather is very, very gracious and kind. But she’s tall and I felt like Yoda around her. Yoda without the Jedi powers.
that rocked all over
you are a nut.
That was great. And I really had to laugh at your Monday post. Because it’s so true! I’m pretty new to the blogosphere, and I’m already learning about the “delicate social structure” inherent within.
Clever post…I think you might just get a response. 🙂