Dear Zebra Room Teachers,
Here is my baby. She is one of the most precious people in the whole world to me. Today is her first day of pre-school.
She thinks she is a real true princess. We indulge this kind of thinking.
She has decided she does not want to grow up. It was quite the feat to get her to agree to turn four. She really wanted to stay three. It was only the promise of copious amounts of chocolate birthday cake that swayed her over. She is adamant, though, that she will grow no older. We also indulge this. This means you can never ever use the “Well, you want to be a BIG girl…” line of reasoning with her. She doesn’t. She wants to be my baby. If you push her, she will suck her thumb and pretend she cannot speak.
In fact, some of us (ahem, her mother) may even be responsible for it by saying to her (over and over) “You’ll always be my baby, won’t you?” and “Stop growing so fast!” and perhaps, in times of quiet desperation “Don’t grow up and leave me! Promise?” We (ahem, me) take full responsibility. Please remind us (ahem, me) of this whole little clever ruse when she is 34 and refuses to move out of our basement and requires I do her laundry and make her chicken nuggets. OK?
Her favorite colors are pink and purple. We have indulged this too. We always let her choose pink or purple for whatever – her cup at dinner, the book we will read her, a new toothbrush, her backpack, our Kitchenaide mixer, the family automobile, the siding for the house, etc. It grows on you after awhile.
She is a carnivore, pure and simple. She likes steak and turkey legs and baby back ribs and Slim Jims. I know those things don’t come up on the preschool lunch menu too often, which means she might just hate everything you guys serve to her. This would be our fault, too.
Oh, Zebra Room Teachers, have mercy on me. I’m a 43 year old mother of five and she’s my BABY. Of course I’ve ruined her for anyone else – can’t you see the desperation on my face? Who will take care of me in my old age? It always falls to the youngest. I’m just doing my best to keep her ostracized by society and nestled firmly in my royal pink nest eating Slim Jims.
Deal with it.
Love,
Rae-Rae’s Mommy
