cocoa puffsToday is it. The first day of the rest of your life. WELL? Are you going to do something with it, you lazy bum? No pressure.

Still, keep in mind that tomorrow is also the first day of the rest of your life. So is the day after that, and the next one and the next one. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself today is what I’m saying. Plenty of time… plenty of time.

I quit my job. You might have read about that. My last day was Friday, just a couple of short days ago. This is my first Monday without a job so, of course, my brain was up at 5AM.

Brain: Hey, Linda? Linda! Wake up.

Me: It’s 5AM, Brain. Go to sleep.

Brain: But no. Hi. Wake up. Guess what? YOU DON’T HAVE A JOB.

Me: Yeah, I know. Kinda the point of quitting.

Brain: You said you weren’t going to squander this time off. You were going to write, you were going to exercise, you were going to clean your closets. Why are you sleeping? GET UP!

Me: Plenty of time for that. Maybe 7AM would be good – pencil it in.

Brain: But 7AM is 2 hours from now. I can’t wait that long. I neeeeeeeeeeeed you, Linda. Get up!!

Me: I swear to God, Brain, if you don’t go back to sleep, I’m going to take the blue pill!

Brain: No, not the blue pill! Whatever you do, don’t take the blue pill! I’ll behave, I swear. I’ll just be over here mentally alphabetizing your spice rack. You go right back to sleep. I’ll be quiet as a church mouse. I won’t make a peep. I solemnly swear to stop having anxiety attacks over your chickens before they hatch. I shall serve no wine before its time. OH MY GOD THE WEIRD SWIRLING THOUGHTS WON’T STOP!

It might sound like I regret quitting my job, but that’s not true. I mean, look at all of you having to wake up right now and shower and get ready for work while I’m sitting here with no pants on writing on my blog. No regrets. I may forgo pants all summer. It will become known as The Summer of No Pants, and after a 72-hour involuntary psyche-ward hold in September, I might be ready to join society again as a productive member.

Part of quitting my job was to write more, so here I am.  I meant I would work on my book (I intend to finish my book, but shhhhh – I don’t want you guys to hold me to such a lofty expectation so let’s stick with ‘work on my book’) but I want to write here on my blog too, because writing is a muscle and you have to work it or some stupid thing like that. Hey, TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

I’m going to get me some Cocoa Puffs and then jump right into it.

So far, the first day of the rest of my life has been pretty OK.  It’s early though so check back with me at 8AM to see how it’s going.